News: After Green Bay Packers Running Back Noah Herron fended off would-be home invaders with a bed post last week, a wave of copycat crimes has broken out in the city of New Orleans. Although details are thin at the moment, we have received the following information:One Unidentified Man Broke into the home of Saints Cornerback, Jason David: Reports indicate that David watched the man break into his front door, kept a close eye on the man as he rummaged through his belongings, but let the man run right past and out the back door, thinking Josh Bullocks was going to make the arrest. No arrests were made.
Two Unidentified Men Broke into the Home of Deuce McAllister: This story is still breaking, but indications are that Deuce was able to creep up on the men in dark of night while carrying a baseball bat. As Deuce hid behind a corner, waiting to spring out and catch the burglars, the invaders noticed Deuce's red no-contact robe and were able to escape the house. Police on the scene tell us these men out-ran Deuce by cutting back and forth and generally not running in a straight line, a feat Deuce was unable to accomplish. No arrests were made.
Two Men Break into Home of Former Saint Jonathan Sullivan: Sullivan, who was awake eating chicken wings and drinking gravy, caught the men at the door and was able to block the entrance. However, the robbers ran right around him and sacked the rest of the house before Sullivan could adjust. No arrests were made.
Three Men Break into Eric Johnson's Home: Johnson was in a great position to catch the burglars as he called the police to tip them off. Sadly, the burglars had wire-tapped his phone, and were able to catch the tip. No arrests were made.
Four Men Broke into the Home of Saints Quarterback Drew Brees: A frightening story for any Saints fan, early indications are that Brees realized his arm might not be strong enough to stop the intruders, so instead, he sat them down and had a talk with them and convinced them to participate in the Drew Brees Dream Foundation instead of a life of crime. No arrests were made.
Three Men Broke into the Home of Mark Simoneau: The first robber ran straight at Simoneau, and he had no problem taking him to the ground. However, learning from their partners' mistakes, the final two robbers chose to throw the stolen goods back and forth around Simoneau's home as they exited, and Simoneau could not contain the two. He tried to make a final play on his belongings, but could not intercept one pass, nor could he force a fumble of any of the stolen goods. Luckily, the security guard at the gate, Johnny Vilma, had no problem covering the area and apprehending both suspects.
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