Make the Drive One Sunday

Why do you like the Saints so much? They suck. Pro football sucks. I like LSU better. Why are you such a die-hard Saints fan? Do you think the 2003 national championship team could beat the Katrina Saints?

I get questions like these all the time from people who fail to understand what makes the New Orleans Saints great. These people come from the land of strip malls and chain restaurants, of massive city expansion with minimal city planning, the land of neighborhoods full of houses with identical doors, mailboxes, and families inside. Occasionally, they leave their beloved Valley and head down to the Dome for what, this? Yats and Who Dats drinking dome foam, wearing the jerseys of their heroes forever immortalized in a museum the size of my house, dancing during commercials and wait, are those people kissing on the jumbotron? What’s going on here?

That’s right folks, welcome to the Louisiana Superdome. You have now left Tiger Stadium. Consider yourselves changed.

So we prefer jerseys to polo shirts, we chicken dance for Popeyes and shake a Winn-Dixie reward card like there is no tomorrow for nominally valued prizes, and we even do “the wave” on offense from time to time. And Baton Rouge people do not like it….

Let’s be honest for a second here - If you grew up within 20 minutes of the campus of Louisiana State University, chances are, you fall into one of three categories:

1. You claim to hate pro football;
2. You call yourself a Tigers fan, but not a Saints fan;
3. You simply, for reasons unknown to me, dislike the Saints.

Being a Saints fan is different, and you don’t get it. It’s knowing Black and Gold Optimus Prime who will, without fail, do the robot each time the camera pans on him for even a second, or the Human Whistle, who might come sit at the front of your section if he feels like it, never requiring his own chair – this large whistle on his head doubles as a comfortable front row seat to the game. It’s going on road trips, walking around towns yelling “Who Dat!” It’s forever hating Phil Hardberger, the mayor of San Antonio who suggested the Saints make a permanent move there. It’s seeing a River Parish Disposal sign and saying to yourself “our business stinks, but it’s picking up,” in your worst Buddy D accent. All of this, and so much more, is what truly makes us different. And you don’t understand because you’re from 75 miles west on I-10, and you never gave it a chance.

Tailgating at an LSU game with the guys from the business college, or your fraternity bothers, or your law school friends is one thing. Coming out under the interstate and getting down with the Who Dats…. That’s something else entirely. I invite you to try it. And here’s the deal – You Do Not have to choose one over the other. Memo to Baton Rouge people: The Saints will never play the Tigers. The 2 teams will rarely even play on the same day of the week, much less at the same time. So what do you do on Sundays? What do you have against wearing a jersey to a football game? Is NCAA football really that much better? Did you stop liking Laron Landry when he got drafted? Why don’t you make the trip one Sunday? I assure you there is no better cure for a Saturday-Night-in-Tiger-Stadium-Hangover than a Sunday morning bloody mary in the Dome.